Every little hero

In the last couple of days, I've noticed a trend in my Facebook feed. And it's one that I'm rather enjoying, although I find a little intimidating. It's a trend of people airing their messy laundry. But not a bad way. I think we all get caught up sometimes in trying to make our lives look a little cleaner than they are. Like, if we somehow convince the world that our lives are not messy, the mess will cease to exist.

I've given myself so much unnecessary stress over the past year, trying to make my life perfect. Comparison is a thief of joy, and my joy has been limited. Seeing some of the things that my friends are saying lately has reminded me that I need to take greater joy in the things that are a little bit messy. And the fact that sometimes I don't get a shower every day, or that, for the first time in my life, I'm feeling the stress and pressure and embarrassment of debt, and hey, my four-year-old kind of runs the house, which by the way, looks like a bomb went off in it more often than not - does not define me. The fact that I'm so loathing of myself because I can't make myself, no scratch that, WONT make myself do the things I need to do to be healthy - eat less, exercise more- or at all... isn't going to make the task at hand any easier. But it does rob me of the joy of being 35 years old, in a relatively healthy body, with the facilities to enjoy my life. This I take for granted. I will never be 35 again. I will never be this young. My kids will never be this age again, either. I try to tell myself it isn't hurting anybody else for me to deny myself these joys. But it does. It hurts my kids- they don't get to see a joyful, free spirited mom who doesn't carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. It teaches them to hide their problems and bury themselves in their own insecurities. It hurts my friends-the ones that really want to spend time with me, but know I'm so consumed in my own world that I'm just not very good company right now.

This really got me thinking about a few of my friends that I hold in such high regard. Most of them I know personally enough to know that their lives are not pristine, yet the things that I adore about them are things I know I would love to emulate in my own life. One of the posters that I saw "come clean" was one that I did not know very well but constantly find myself comparing myself to. I've been in situations where people told me that they wish they were more like me. And I laughed a little on the inside before I got a little horrified by the thought. If people only knew!

My heroes are regular, everyday people that I call friends. And I thought it would be a fun trend to start calling a few of them out on the reasons I think they're so amazing, with the caveat that I understand that nobody's perfect.  I'm hoping to make it a habit so one day before I die, I'll get through everyone. 

Like Erika Knipe - my amazing friend who respects her children's childhood and appreciates the moments. She's fearless in being herself. Her beautiful, badass self.

And Natalie Hodson-who respects her body. I wish I had her resolve and self-discipline. She's authentic and imperfect, but is happy to share how she can knock out a work out and keep her perfect hair at the same time.  Her beauty is so much more than skin deep... But she is a knock out. 

And Beverly Harris Wise. Her unshakable faith in God even in the face of the most tragic of circumstances, not to mention her kind, loving, open-heart has made me believe that it's possible to work through anything with grace and joy.

Then there's Sarah Poe. The writer. She who believes in the beauty of every single thing. I'm pretty sure there's nothing that can get that girl down.

Carol Bishop Hauch - she's made being a badass a brand-name. Her take no prisoners, I live my life the way I want to regardless of the way you think about it attitude is everything I try to be. What's amazing about her, though, is her genuine heart. She cares a lot, and loves to be a part of great things.

Kelly Tenney - she helps me remember that we can come from HARD places and still be soft. And beautiful. And generous. And KIND.

Ginger Lane- the survivor. The winner. The one who wants to change the world. She will always be someone I admire because she did for herself and her kids what I wish my father could have done. I will always admire her courage and strength.

Karen Hicks Fettes - She's that person that is so deeply invested in you. She's a rock even when her own life is hard. And my constant reminder that I must keep trying. And I can always be better. And there's no excuse to not be grateful. And we must always be positive.

Ashley Durham - evidence that you can marry stupid young, bang out a bunch of kids, and still have an epic love story.

And Jenae Sexton . Evidence that tenacity is as powerful of a force as you can come by on this earth. When you want something bad enough, there is no substitute for hard work, positivity , persistence, passion, and relentless commitment.

I could name a million more, and I hope I keep it up so I do. I'm eternally grateful for the forces in my life that make me want to be a better person. I can learn something from everyone I know. And that's a BEAUTIFUL thing.